There are a few things going on “in real life” at the moment that make me feel like I’m in limbo. It’s affecting my energy levels, my motivation and, most upsettingly, my creativity.
I don’t like things being up in the air. Don’t like to have things out of my control. And I find difficulty in finding the good in those types of situation. But interestingly, when I look back at times in my life where I struggled like this, as I made it through I did find energy and motivation and creativity. Perhaps I need to see this as the lull to get me through to the other side.
Waving? Or Drowning?
June, for me, is a month of anniversaries. I find myself caught up in waves of nostalgia. I love the phrase “waving, not drowning” (which is a play on the words of a poem called Not Waving But Drowning by Stevie Smith). And yet it’s June where I am more likely to be drowning than waving.
The Month of Anniversaries
With early June comes the anniversary of our return…coming back to the UK in 2016. 2 years we’ve been back. But surely that can’t be? I only closed my eyes for a moment and 2 years jumped by. How can it be 2 years since I farewelled a country that means so much to me.
We have Father’s Day and my husbands birthday, usually in quick succession, and I busy myself with the choosing and buying of gifts which I hope will have meaning. We bake cakes, blow out candles, and celebrate.
And then, the day after my husband’s birthday, comes the saddest of my June anniversaries. The day we said goodbye to our canine best friend. 2 years ago in 2016. Yes, you read that right – our dog died within weeks of us returning to the UK. He came with us. We knew he was sick. We couldn’t leave him behind. And things were too far organised when we found out. I had a word with him on Father’s Day 2016. The day before my husbands birthday. I whispered in his ear and asked him to hang on just a couple more days for us. He did his best. Gosh, I miss him.
And then a few more days after that – the anniversary of our first arriving in New Zealand. Back in 2005. We were babies. I was 24. We landed in Auckland after hours and hours of travelling. Ready to explore and find some adventures.
The Importance of Dates
And what does all this mean in terms of Finding the Good Everyday?Just as words have meaning, so to do dates. If I can keep myself from drowning in nostalgia it’s good to look back at where I was and where I am now. Wave back at the Katie of 2005 and tell her it’s all going to be okay and there is a lot of fun and adventure just around the corner. And that her life will become full of even more people and animals to love.
The passing of time is strange. The way it can speed up so that 2 years since leaving New Zealand can pass in the blink of an eye. Yet, the 2 years since I last hugged my dog and told him I loved him and saw his tail wag feel like much longer.
What do anniversaries mean to you? Do you have dates that hold relevance for you? How do you mark the passing of time?